Good friends are great to have. They are there for some of your most difficult moments, so it’s only natural that you want to be supportive in their time of need. One of the biggest obstacles friendship can aid in is the breakup of a friend’s relationship—particularly if the relationship was a serious one. While you may think that turning to bars and distractions are a good idea, heed these pieces of advice to truly help your friend through their breakup
Let Them Mourn Their Loss
Breakups have huge psychological implications. When couples are together for a significant amount of time, they form a unique bond. Once that bond is broken, your friend can lose sight of who they are without that person in their life. Before you try to ease the pain with Jell-O shots and potential suitors, give your friend some time to adjust to being single. In trying to rush the process, you might succeed in momentarily distracting your friend from their grief,” explains Dr. Suzanna Lachmann in Psychology Today. Instead, give them the time to process what’s happened. Of course, no one wants to see the people they care about hurting, but ultimately it’s how they will eventually heal.
Pamper Them a Bit
Breakups have major psychological implications. “ There may be an urge to mope endlessly and wallow negatively,” says Preston Ni M.S.B.A. It would be a good idea to plan some events to help get them out of their post-breakup blues. You don’t need to go overboard with showering affections to your recently single friend. That said, you could do little things to help them feel loved. For instance, catching a sporting event, going for a manicure, or sending flowers at work are all great ways to give a little ego boost to your friend.
Try New Hobbies
Like the saying goes, “out with the old, in with the new”—encourage your friend to try new hobbies. Take them out for bowling, museums, gardening, or even puzzles, suggests PyschCentral. New hobbies mean new experiences, which will ultimately help your friend develop personal growth all the while appreciating new experiences.
Suggest Professional Help
There is no magic pill that will help anyone instantaneously overcome a breakup. At times the pain is so deep, that you may not be able to give them the help they need. If you feel as though your efforts are not making an impact, suggest a counselor or therapist for your friend. Professionals in the psychology department are trained to work with individuals coping with loss, be it a breakup or otherwise. In addition, your friend may be able to disclose information to their therapist that they were unable to share with you.
Breakups are the exact opposite of fun. Often times, they are messy, leaving both parties involved feeling jilted and hurting from the endeavor. As a friend, you have the ability to help in the transition. As long as you come from a place of caring and respect, your friend will appreciate your efforts. Just be there for them in any way that you can.